Being in a monogamous relationship take a lot of work and trust. Sometimes, unfortunately, that trust can be broken and one part may stray. However, if have been invested in this relationship and truly love each other, you may decide to work on the relationship and remain together. This decision, which is as difficult as splitting up, is not to be taken lightly and will take a lot of work and patience. In order be successful, you must first figure out how to forgive the cheater.
First, it is important to understand what constitutes forgiveness. To truly forgive a person, you must accept that they wronged you and that they feel remorse. You must let it go. That is not to say that you need to forget it occurred, but you need to move forward and not dwell on it. Once you have forgiven the cheater, you cannot continually bring up the fact that your partner cheated. It is done and over with and you have accepted your partner’s apology.
Many time your partner will ask for your forgiveness. Many couples opt for therapy as a starter point. Therapy can be a great tool. It can help you u come to terms and be honest about your feelings and help your partner figure out what in him or her led him or her to cheat in the first place.
Therapy can also teach you and you partner how to ask for forgiveness along with how to communicate other feelings, needs, and wants in your relationship, and how to forgive and forget.
Sometime how your partner asks for forgiveness is as important as the act of asking for forgiveness, and may change your willingness to stay together.
If your partner sounds remorseful and asks, as opposed to demands forgiveness, then it may be a more salvageable relationship. However, if your partner is demanding and insists you forgive and move on, you may question whether your partner will repeat the same actions in the future.
Some powerful tools you may learn to help you cope and eventually forgive is to practice forgiveness. Maybe others have wronged you in smaller ways for which they have apologized and you have ignored. You can leave forgiveness messages for those people. You may choose to write and mail the messages, or you may choose to keep them to yourself just to give yourself closure and teach you about forgiveness and its healing nature.
Sometimes forgiveness and forgiveness messages are about accepting the apology you may never receive and still letting it go and moving on. If you are able to accomplish this, forgiveness of a cheater who has apologized will be much easier.
In the end, giving forgiveness to a cheater is not easy and it is usually a long process. Whether you choose to stay in the relationship or move on, it is essential to your own personal health and growth that you forgive your partner and move forward in life. Otherwise, if you dwell on being wronged, you will carry that baggage into every relationship and likely sabotage any potentially great relationship because you will expect the next partner to be a cheater as well.